Giving advice on forgiving but doing opposite.

Advice or our opinion sometimes comes easy when we have someone telling us about their problems. I’m real quick at saying stand your ground and don’t let others take advantage of you and the more you’re there for people and bail them out then they won’t ever do it on their own and so on. It’s like my Wonder Woman fighting and protecting ourselves goes into full power, but yet when it comes down to my family I just freeze up and feel like a pushover. 

Long story short my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer about 4 years and now has one of the side effects which is osteoporosis. She was diagnosed high blood pressure and diabetes more than ten years and that’s being controlled constantly. She’s a great trooper because through a lot of hard moments and pain she would always stay positive and is a great gal let me tell you. 

I am the middle child and my brother still lives at home and my sister lives in McAllen and when my mom was going through her chemotherapy then on to her remission process I was there every step of the way no exaggeration I had to move in with my mom and take my two kids I had at that time because she needed help. My sister came to visit once for about three days and then left and still till this day she comes once a year if that and leaves after her third day or so which upsets me so much because my mom would love to spend more time with her and my niece and nephews. 

There’s so much more but so we won’t be here forever I’ll say why I gave my story the title I did was in reference to my sister. This past December my husband and kids and I were so sick and my mom had so many appointments and exams to be done that I asked her for help and I absolutely hate asking others for help so it’s not easy for me. Anyways her kids were out of school before mine and she runs on her own schedule because she doesn’t work but yet couldn’t drive over here to help me. I was so mad those days that I just didn’t want to talk to her or hear about her and I finally told my mom why I had been so bitter those days. I told my mom out of all people I expected her help which I guess was asking too much and after always doing everything myself and not asking for help this just once made me see why I don’t ask for help. A few days passed and I started to speak with my sister again as if we were the best of friends again but I know deep down I’ll never ask her for anything again……..

Oh no Valentine’s Day….

It’s almost that 14th day in February where just about everywhere you look it’s pink and red flowers or bears. Sometimes I feel like Valentine’s Day is overrated in the part where we shouldn’t have to wait till this day to surprise that special person in our life or make them feel special. It seems like as the years go by we’ve lost the mindset that it’s the thought that counts such as a handmade card and not the new iPhone wrapped with the most expensive ribbon we could find. Now I’m guilty of wanting those nice fancy gadgets but like I tell my husband I prefer you put some thought into it and it’s not about the dollar signs. I’m a laid back kind of gal that would be happy with a Starbucks latte and my favorite blueberry muffin with a nice written note. It’s so much more when our significant other takes our interests into consideration and ties it in to make this more than a labeled day. Sometimes our laziness plays a part where we Google what to do on this day rather than taking those minutes we googled ideas and being original ourselves.

I try and remember to live in the moment and cherish each day not just those days written in the calendar that the stores and tv commercials make profit out of. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to make a little home dinner instead of waiting for over an hour at a restaurant and then to get service almost at 9 pm and by then you can’t enjoy your meal because you don’t want to go to sleep with a full belly. I’m still trying to come up with a gift for my husband and like I said it’s the thought that counts and boy does this put my brain and heart to work together, although my husband receives a little message from me time to time on how lucky I am. I feel blessed that he’s able to provide while I get to stay at home with our baby and am thankful he understands that I do have my degree but if I want to wait a few years to put it to use I will.

 Don’t develop that bad habit of making it seemed forced to show our appreciation and love for our special someone. Sometimes I’m able to get creative and have my boys jump in and get the surprise going which they love surprises and projects. It’s great to model for our kids at a young age that love is so much more that just saying I love you back when someone tells you I love you. I hope everyone enjoys themselves on this day. 

First day of therapy.

Today was my first day of therapy and they did an evaluation of course and electro therapy. With electro therapy they stimulated my back with an electrical device  and it sends out impulses to interrupt or stop the pain. We all know that therapy helps strengthen what’s weak and the therapist doesn’t assure you all the pain will be gone but relieve will come. Some might have seemed like an easy day but boy did it take an effort for me not to cry in front of my therapist. I didn’t do my water therapy because I wasn’t sure what to wear in the pool since some places want specific clothing anyways I’ll be ready on Tuesday. Back to me not crying the stretching, moving, bending, rolling, pushing, and pulling got to me little simple stretches almost had me screaming. Now let me tell you my back has always hurt but since August the pain got too excruciating so I seeked help and my neurologist recommended therapy and pain management. Now the pain management hasn’t begun so we shall see how that goes. My doctor said what started this was me having my son at 9lbs 10oz naturally yeah the numbers are correct he was a very big boy. The doctors weren’t prepared for him and so I struggled and now the back pain is horrible. I’m hoping to get some positive results from this so say a prayer this way. Thanks. I would share more but my son is calling and he has some strong lungs as you can imagine.

Contagious laugh….Hehehe…….

So my boys have boxing on Tuesdays and Thursday’s and yes we go every week these days unless they are really sick. I sit there for an hour and watch them train and hope they get tired out where we get home and they shower, eat, and off to bed. Yeah I’m not that lucky, they have me playing a game of cards or watching a movie with them which I enjoy but with a teething 6 month old I just want to go to sleep early. Anyways to my title there’s a trainer there that seems the happiest guy you could think of and has the most contagious laugh that sometimes even as mad as I am because of the darn Lubbock drivers I just have to laugh. Hehehehe. I mean I can just hear him laughing right now in me head. I just had to share this in hoping you think of a funny laugh and go with it. Have a good rest of a Thursday. 😎

Damn allergies and sinuses!….

Let me tell you it sucks when you live in West Texas and it seems like tumble weeds blow by your house everyday laughing in your face. I have to go get allergy shots on a weekly basis and now the luck I have got uped my dosage to two times a week. Sometimes I find no relief with all the meds and shots and just want to live in a bubble like the bubble boy. But bubble boy didn’t have three kids, a husband and two dogs to watch so never mind it wouldn’t work for me. I get the whole thing things could be worse but sometimes I’m like no they couldn’t. My damn allergies affect my migraines and asthma so that’s why I feel like there’s no exaggeration. I had a severe asthma attack this past fall but that’s another story. One of the girls that gives me my injections told me hey some people come in 3 times a week and me thinking other things just said really? Why cant we just enjoy our pitty party without others ruining it?

 

Still at the doctors office….

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What a morning…..I rushed to get the boys to school, my baby to my moms and pick up somewhat around the house. I had a doctors appointment this morning and with my punctuality being a big issue I made it about 20 minutes early to be told the doctor is so where in the hospital and we will try and locate him. It never fails that I don’t lawn by now that me being early or time isn’t going to help because it’s like all my appointments run late on their half. Grrrrrr. I drank my coffee like it was vodka so I wouldn’t have to carry my cup around and could chew some gum before the doctor smelled my coffee breath. It’s like being told hey you want to see the doctor you’ll wait and you have no other important place to be. Love this day already.

My 10 minutes of heaven!

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It’s like my day is just starting and I’m already tired…I sure love to see my coffee cup in the morning because it gives me at least 10 minutes to breathe. My mornings and days seem to be set at a routine. By this time I’ve cleaned and disinfected the bathrooms because I was lucky enough to have 3 boys although one is still in diapers or make it four it’s like I have throw my husband in there as well. Anyways I’ve already washed a load of laundry on my second one. Laundry never ends! I’ve already got my food thawing for dinner and I’ve taken out trash and fed my dogs and fed my kids before dropping them off at school and packed their lunch. The list goes on and on. Sometimes I just wish my routine would get a little jazzed up I don’t mean crazy and everyday but maybe out to dinner with the husband but it’s like there’s no time since he’s home around 8:30 or so and by then the baby is asleep or my two oldest are getting ready for bed. Sometimes we have to be that responsible parent with no time off.